How to grow into motherhood and be the best version of you
Motherhood - every aspect of our lives fundamentally change and in some ways we no longer feel aligned to who we where before that gorgeous newborn was placed in our arms, and in amongst the sleepless nights, the activities, the constant supply of snacks, you feel completely lost with who you are, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and stuck. I’m here to tell you that feeling this way, is completely normal but it doesn’t have to be this way. You deserve to feel like the best and truest version of yourself.
Motherhood is a wonderful and magical transformational space. A space where we are also re-born. Motherhood is time of growth, not only for our children but also for us. A journey self discovery, of exploring, of creativity and time to fall in love with what brings us joy all over again. I believe that finding ‘us’ again, as ourselves, as mothers, as parents, is fundamental to us living a wonderful, happy and full life and to share this with our children - to be a model of what we hope their lives will be too. So how can you be the truest, content, calm version of you? Well firstly, you need to make yourself a priority. How can you be the best version of you, if you are always at the bottom of the never ending to do list? How can you be the best version of you if you don’t put your needs first? Get yourself top of the list and start prioritising your needs, even if it’s just five minutes to sit down and drink that coffee whilst it is still hot. Secondly, where are you feeling stuck? There are many things that may leave us feeling stuck, both in motherhood and in life and often we may struggle to identify where we are feeling stuck and how that is showing up for us. When we are feeling stuck, having a set of tools to help is a wonderful way of understanding more of what is going on. Working with a coach is a wonderful way to work out what is happening so that you can move forward and take action. Journalling is a wonderful tool to help us start to get out of our head and in to listening to ourselves and what is coming up intuitively. Meditation is also another gorgeous and practical tool that can be used to help relax and calm your mind and give you time to really focus on your breathing and what your system is doing. Thirdly - are you actually listening? Are you really listening to what is coming up for you? Are you listening to what your body is saying? Are you listening to your head, heart and gut? Is one communicating louder? We have all the resources we need or we can create them - what do you need right now? Often in the busyness of everyday life and the demands and expectations, life can become really noisy and it can take some practice (and it may feel uncomfortable at first) for us to listen inwards - inwards to our inner wisdom, our intuition. Fourthly - Listen some more… Motherhood in some ways, starts this for us, think about when your baby has been ill and innately you have been able to sense this, or when you have stood your ground when you knew something was wrong with your child and you didn’t feel as though your voice was being heard - something inside you (your inner wisdom) knew - we all have this. How amazing would it be, if you listened inward, and in turn this helped you become un-stuck, helped you take action and embrace who you truly are? How amazing would it be if you already had the answers unconsciously? How amazing would it be to be your most authentic self? And how amazing would it be if all you needed to start this was to listen, listen to yourself, what is your body, your head, your heart and your gut communicating to you, right now, in this very moment? Start now…
And so I invite you to grab a pen and some paper and use the journal prompts below to help you to start listening inwards and tuning in to your intuition… Journal Prompts
These journal prompts are a guide, to help you get started. Trust in this process, trust in that you have everything you need.
1. Every night write three things you are grateful for. Gratitude plays a big part in supporting our wellbeing and often these reflections can help us have a stronger mindset. 2. Each morning set yourself an intention for the day - keep coming back to this during your day - put it somewhere you can see it each day, or save it as your phone or computer screensaver. 3. Who are you when you show up as your most authentic self - who is this person, what do they wear, what are their values, how do they talk, how do they stand, how does it feel to be this person? 4. What does your heart truly want? - what are the hearts desires, needs… 5. What are your values? - what qualities do you value the most in yourself, in others - what is important to you in how you and others show up for you.
And finally, be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself, motherhood is a journey.
About the author
Emma Cottam, is a speaker, writer and founder of Isabella and Us. She is the editor of the Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums, an independent magazine for mums, and the host of the Positive Wellbeing Podcast for Mums. Emma is a self care and creative coach for mums. She is passionate about supporting mums on their journey to find their magic, re-awaken their intuition and expand their creativity, through 1-1 and group sessions.