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Understanding inner feminine and motherhood in ten steps

Your inner feminine are the aspects of yourself that would generally be considered to be feminine. These are things like embracing the flow of life, being creative, wanting to work and live more collaboratively, nurturing others, allowing space for vulnerability and trusting your intuition.

These traits are not associated with gender. Every person has a mix of feminine and masculine qualities.

Understanding and nurturing your inner feminine can help life feel better and more easily explained because it promotes self-acceptance, emotional wellbeing and stronger connections with loved ones which ultimately enhance your overall happiness and quality of life.

How do you do this?

Take a look at these ten steps and pick out the two or three that you connect with the most - trust your intuition - that’s one of the first steps to inner feminine understanding:

1. Self-Reflection: Begin by reflecting on your own experiences and feelings about femininity and motherhood. Is it a role that comes naturally to you or not? Do you know why? It can be harder to step into the shoes of mothering if you have ‘lived’ within you inner masculine because, for example, your job required it or this was the modus operandi in your home as a child.

2. Explore Role Models: Look back at the role models and influences in your life and how they related to femininity and motherhood. What have you learned from them, and how do those lessons resonate with you? Were feminine qualities celebrated and admired?

3. Embrace Vulnerability: Recognise that vulnerability is a strength. Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions authentically to the right people. Know that you can never please everyone and that you don’t have to.

4. Connection to Nature: Spending time outdoors and connecting with the cycles of nature is often a great way to allow your feminine creativity to flow. Find inspiration in the small things and share this with your family.

5. Nurture Relationships: Building and maintaining nurturing relationships can help you understand the maternal aspects of your identity. Focus on strengthening important relationships and allow yourself to let go of those that don’t make you feel good. Whilst your feminine loves to be loved, she is also strong and does not accept being taken advantage of.

6. Learn and Educate: Explore resources and books that discuss femininity and motherhood from various perspectives. Knowledge can empower you to make informed choices. Join a local Mother Circle or Women’s Circle which may have book recommendations.

7. Self-Care: Prioritise yourself to replenish your emotional and physical well-being. Caring for yourself is essential if you are going to embrace motherhood in a balanced and empowered way. Looking after yourself is nothing to feel guilty about. Your inner feminine knows how special she is and she makes sure that she is ok. It’s your masculine that pushes you to burnout.

8. Creative Expression: Tap into your creativity as a way to express your inner feminine. Whether through art, writing, or other forms of expression, let your creativity flow. Is there something you used to do that lit you up? Can you make space for this or a different version of it?

9. Seek Guidance: Don't hesitate to seek guidance from therapists, mentors, or support groups if you encounter challenges or have questions about your journey. Your feminine knows that she is wise but not wise enough to know everything. She is also accepting of help and, even though asking for it feels hard, she views it as a strength.

10. Embrace Flexibility: Understand that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of motherhood. Be happy with your unique path and adapt as you learn and grow. Your feminine likes to be in charge but that doesn’t mean she always has to be in control. Can you let some of the small stuff go?

Understanding and embracing your inner feminine is subtle but often life-changing.

She creates more space for you, boosts resilience and helps you adapt to the challenges of motherhood. Living in this way also allows you to connect with your own values, beliefs and desires which lead to a greater sense of purpose and that feeling of ‘this is what I want for myself and my family’. You are happier.

This doesn’t mean that there isn’t also space for the wonderful qualities your inner masculine brings, but that’s for another day!


About the Author:

Mandy Rees is a mum of two daughters and the founder of Mother for Life.

She is an expert in perinatal wellbeing. Mandy champions motherhood through Mother Circles; the bringing together of mothers in safe, supportive and non judgemental spaces. She is a yoga and baby massage teacher, a women’s emotional health coach and birth rewind practitioner.

She runs her own unique course training other women to lead their own Mother Circles.

Mandy is on a mission to fill the world with safe, supportive spaces for mums where they are seen and heard. Spaces that empower mums to fulfil their own needs as well as those of their family.

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