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Every mother has a power within her - a deep intuition and wisdom that makes her soul sing and heart ache in equal measure during motherhood. You too have that power or energy but it is so easy to lose her within the busyness of life as a parent. Many mums I work with talk of a loss of self and feelings of grief for their old life which now feels so far away.
If you feel like this, you are not alone. Motherhood jolts us from our familiar roots and we need to create different foundations from which to build. Many of us look to new things to bring us back to ourselves but have you ever thought about looking inward and nurturing what is already within you?
Here are five easy ways to connect into your inner Great Mother wisdom:
1. Slow things down and breathe.
Actually stop, be still and bring your awareness to your breath. Try breathing in for four and breathing out - through your mouth - for 8. As you breathe, give your mind the chance to slow down. Stay still long enough for your mind to become quiet. Then ask yourself what it is you really need right now. Listen to what your intuition tells you. She will be right. It might feel impossible to find the time to do this but you can sit quietly with your little one in your arms. Feel into the connection between you and trust what your body and mind tell you.
2. Think about what makes you feel strong.
It might be going back to that book that inspired you or talking more regularly with your best friend who lifts you up. It might be running or helping other people. Whatever, it is - go back to your gut and follow what she is telling you about where you draw your strength from. It could be wearing your most fabulous sparkly top to Tesco!
3. Accept that you are different now and that this is a wonderful thing.
Allow your heart to be open to the new challenges and opportunities that motherhood brings. This may seem scary, but you are a role model for your children. This comes with responsibility but it is also a huge gift. Take some time to map out, perhaps three things, that you want to role model along with an action plan for doing this. You might want to demonstrate courage or embracing emotions and asking for help during tricky times. These are all wonderful lessons for any child to learn.
4. Put yourself first sometimes
This might be hiding in the bathroom for 5 minutes to think or a regular class that takes you away from home and all its beautiful chaos. You simply can’t connect into your wisdom if you are too busy to let her in. Once you notice how wise you already are, you build up trust in yourself. With this trust comes confidence - confidence to mother in your way and to brush off those unhelpful comments all mums receive.
5. Don’t be so reliant on social media or external factors.
Unfollow accounts that make you feel less than you are. Don’t look to other people for reassurance that you are doing a great job. Take time each day to remind yourself that you are a wonderful mum with children who love her very much. You don’t need anyone else to tell you this because your inner Great Mother already knows. I love affirmations to help me do this. Something along the lines of ‘I am proud of all I have done today’ or ‘Today was tough but I made it’.
Am I allowed a sneaky number 6? Laugh!
With others and at yourself. Your intuition loves laughter as it connects you emotionally and physically with who you are. Watch funny things. Be with funny people and look for the funny in your mothering.
If you place your hand on your heart right now you will feel her beating.
That beat is the steady rhythm of a mother in control of her destiny and trusting her soul.
About the author
Mandy Rees is a mum of two daughters and the founder of Mother for Life. She is an expert in perinatal wellbeing. Mandy champions motherhood through Mother Circles; the bringing together of mothers in safe, supportive and non judgemental spaces.
She is a yoga and baby massage teacher, a women’s emotional health coach and birth rewind practitioner. She runs her own unique course training other women to lead their own Mother Circles.
Mandy is on a mission to fill the world with safe, supportive spaces for mums where they are seen and heard. Spaces that empower mums to fulfil their own needs as well as those of their family.